Let’s Talk About Love

Recently, I lost my cousin to cancer. It was a first in my family, for us to lose someone who was part of my generation. Her name was Keisha and she was like a big sister who I spent summers with, in Manchester ever year from about 1987 until I was in my teens.

I’m still processing the fact that she’s not here.

But something has occurred to me.

Even if she was alive and our ‘busy’ lives prevented us from seeing each other often or even talking, I would much rather that, than knowing she is no longer with us.

I really want to talk about Love and I know Valentine’s day has sprung up and the marketing wizards are shoving romance into our faces, but I’m acknowledging that it’s more than just romance.

Valentines hasn’t meant anything to me in years. Romance is so wonderful, something that I miss but not desperate for at the moment.

I am truly happy for people who have found that special someone and have built and continue to maintain a relationship that feeds their souls. That’s such an important part of our journey through this life. As I grow older, I come to realize just how important it is.

But every time I lose a member of my family and my history, it gives me pause to reflect upon how I love and who I love.

Love beyond family has never been easy for me.

I’m always trying to figure out where I stand with people and attempting to understand everything about the emotions and feelings that I have come to associate with love.

LOVE D.I.Y.

Some years ago, I went through, what I thought at the time was the most unimaginable hurt, the end of a relationship.

The details of the whole situation were bad enough but the worst part was the feeling that I was going to come undone because of what I felt. It took everything in me, and time to realize that I could get over. I came through all of that knowing a few very important things about myself. One, I was stronger than I ever gave myself credit for and two, the greatest battle that I ever have to win, is discovering how to truly love myself.

And that’s been the greatest lesson of all, one that I have to keep learning, re-learning and acknowledging every day.  Today I am the better for it and I love the idea of love and being in Love.

It has actually brought me to an even more important conclusion, about all this love that we have to give throughout our lives.

We have the romantic love we share with that special someone, but the friends in our lives are the ones who will probably be the most consistent beneficiaries of our love, test subjects even.

The friendships we build teach us how to love, and they give us an opportunity to show love, where the main bond is an appreciation for and acceptance of the other person’s existence.

But like all relationships, it helps when we have a clear fix on who we are first and not only accept ourselves, but LOVE every bit of who we see looking back at us in the mirror.

Rupaul says it best “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?”

Let LOVE be your guide!

Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

Kevin

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