Just over a year ago I made a big step and finally moved out of my childhood home. I alluded to that change here but only now have I been able to fully digest how significant the move was.
It is one of the best things I have ever done and continues to teach me new things about myself that living ‘at home’ could never.
The simple act of moving out also caused seismic shifts in my life in other ways because it dramatically changed the way certain people related to me, some for the better and others for worse.
Love Matters
Probably the biggest benefit I have experienced so far, has been a renewal of my relationship with my Mom. Living away from her, has made me more aware of her mortality, in a way that I wasn’t before.
I used to see my mother everyday while I was still at home but in reality, we rarely spoke, because I made it a point of duty to reside in my own little world, consumed by my own interests.
Now, everything is different because, when I realized that I won’t be seeing her everyday it became urgent that I at least speak with her as often as I could. No week goes by that I don’t see her and even more than before, we have built-in time that we spend going out and doing things together. That, I can treasure because the degree of separation let me know that valuing her now is more important than ever.
Designing Reality
Who knew that designing your own space could be so exciting? Over the past year, I’ve been able to curate a collection of items that match my own taste, temperament and comfort level. Just having that level of control has been a joy in itself and it is true what they say, about pushing your own key.
‘Adulting’ is even more profound now, when I realize that I am truly responsible for taking care of myself. The ability to do it well is a privilege and responsibility I cherish. Even in the midst of acquiring, I’m also learning to be minimalist, removing clutter and focusing on the things that matter most.
Make Space
So now that I’m on my own, I have to be mindful of the temptation to just chill and enjoy my own company all the time. I have to push myself to carve out time and activities that take me beyond the four walls of my abode. For some reason, it’s kinda difficult. I’m never lonely, so I really have to drum up the urge to get up and out of my space and do things. I’m getting a better grip of this, but for a while, I felt almost like a hermit. I joked with a friend, when I initially moved that I was nesting, but having nested I’m now more comfortable planning activities and just taking on the road with my friends. Stepping out of my literal comfort zone is as much for entertainment as it is for survival and when I don’t want to step out, I host.
In My Zone
The one thing you become acutely aware of when you live alone is yourself. It’s inevitable, because you will be spending a good amount of time on your own. If I was never comfortable really being alone before, then spending the past year living solo has fully converted me. The most invaluable insight though has been an appreciation of not just my own company but coming to terms with the fact that at the end of the day you are responsible for yourself. Surviving and thriving is up to you as an adult, and while there are those who love and support you, it’s your responsibility. Recognising and coming to terms with my own independence has been empowering and continues to push me forward.
I’m happy that I had good practice taking care of myself otherwise this would’ve been a much longer post.
How are you making the most of your ‘alone ‘time? Let me know in the comments.
Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!
Kevin
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