Five songs to NEVER play at a wedding

If you know me personally, you are very aware that I love a good laugh and my sense of humour is always ready to be tickled. With that preamble there should be no surprise about the context of this blog. Different fragments of this idea have been tumbling around in my head for a while, so here goes.

I was recently, relaxing on a beach where there happened to be a wedding underway. I was in ear shot, so I could hear the ceremony begin with the familiar strains of Mendelssohn’s Wedding March.

Once that was over I assumed that the official part of the ceremony had begun. Soon after I heard one of my favourite Stevie Wonder tunes begin to play: ‘Signed, Sealed, Delivered’. I thought to myself, that’s as appropriate a song as any for the DJ to play at that exact moment.

And after hearing that it occurred to me, suppose the DJ had chosen to play the wrong song(s) on this very special occasion?

A wedding is such a precious memory for the happy couple but you best believe that there are a few things that can ruin it – drunken guests, exes, quarreling family members and most importantly, questionable  musical selections.

I have jokingly considered some of the most inappropriate songs to be either played by a DJ, dedicated or used as a toast by a guest or generally be heard anywhere near a wedding ceremony. So in no particular order, here are my top 5 worst songs to play at a wedding and some alternatives, because hey, I got your back #nojoke. Be guided and thank me later.

Wedding No No: As We Lay – Kelly Price

I love this song!  Kelly Price’s remake of this Shirley Murdoch original was a new classic when she covered it in 2000. Beautiful arrangement and singing cannot however hide the fact that this song is about a woman pining over another woman’s husband, with whom she has previously spent the night with.

It’s worth mentioning that a few years ago, Kelly was invited to an event organised by a church to perform some of her hits. However, due to a timing issue her performance was pushed up too close to the beginning of the church’s main convention event. Let’s just say, it made headlines, and they weren’t pretty. What’s even worse, As we Lay was one of the songs that she performed. It sounds good and could probably be perfect for an intimate dance, but not at a wedding, unless you are really trying to be super MESSY.  Save yourself the embarrassment or bruises and go with my suggested alternative: Why I Love You by MAJOR.

Wedding No No: If Walls Could Talk – Celine Dion

I remember the first time I encountered this song. It was in 1999 when Celine released her ‘All the Way’ album. I love it for a number of reasons such as the fact that it was produced by Robert ‘Mutt’ Lange, ex-husband of Shania Twain plus, Shania did some of the backup on the track.

The song is sensual, perfectly arranged and sets the tone for so much romance. So no wonder it is a popular tune at strip joints and go-go clubs in Jamaica, which is funny because it was never a single, so DJs at these clubs must’ve really loved it, thus solidifying its popularity. All that being said, let’s lower the temperature at the wedding a tad bit and leave this off the playlist, at least, during the early part of the reception. Keep it safe and accessible and suggest the DJ play another Celine fave: Because you Loved me.

Wedding No No: Ordinary People – John Legend

Alright, weddings are deep and emotionally, they rank pretty high as life events. But is the ceremony the place to dig up all that ‘real’ drama? It is supposed to be a fantasy that will  make not only an indelible impression on guests, but give the married couple something wonderful to remember for years to come (hopefully). That said, reminding that they are ordinary people “who just need to take it slow” is NOT goals’.  Cut to the chase and make an appropriate dedication with John’s other tune: All of me. 

I know I’m not the only one – Sam Smith

So, my admission, I loved Sam Smith’s first album and the songs he wrote and performed so ably during that era. However, his repertoire leaves much to be desired when it comes to visions of matrimonial bliss.  Here-to-fore, it would be highly inappropriate for anyone attending a wedding or otherwise involved to either perform or dedicate this song to the happy couple. I don’t care if you love it. Sadly, it’s slim pickings from Sam, because he hasn’t quite mastered presenting stable relationships in his music just yet. That said, if you must have a Sam Smith song played, choose: Latch (Acoustic). 

Ready For Love – India Arie

India Arie has a song for every mood. For the generation who may have missed her emergence and glory days, do a youtube search for “Strength, Courage and Wisdom” (you’re welcome). She has a number of ballads and has always been able to capture some of those vulnerable aspects of relationships and love that, otherwise don’t get featured in popular music (Just check this tune).

Now, Ready for Love would seem like a perfect complement to any wedding, however check the lyrics and you’ll realize that it speaks to a place on the journey of love that the newlyweds should be past. I would hope that I am more than ready for love on my wedding day, but maybe that’s just me. She has a beautiful alternative in this song: Can I walk with you. 

Tell me some of your wedding song no-no’s and must haves in the comments section!

Be inspired, Be informed, Be Glorious!

Kevin

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